Time wounds all heels
by banjo1988
Summary: Loosely based on 2x09. Dyson discovers a shocking secret about Kenzi when he was trapped inside her body and decides it's his job to do something about it. Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Lost girl nor do i have any rights or claim to Dyson, Kenzi or any other characters mentioned..


He was empty. Kenzi felt pain, his pain, not hers. In the quiet solitude of the bathrooms at the Dal, she touched a hand to her heart and pushed. She wanted, no needed to feel the touch, as if the pressure would somehow staunch the flow of hurt and emptiness. There was a hole inside of him, a giant black hole and Kenzi knew its heritage. The Norn hadn't just taken his love, she'd taken Dyson. Well most of him, the man he was, the lover he was, all intricate strands of the web that completed him and judging by the Bo sized hole in his heart, the Norn hadn't left him with much of himself.

"Jesus, it's a miracle he can still stand," Kenzi's rough unfamiliar growl was saddened as she shook water off the large hands she had no idea how to use. She started to leave the haven of the bathroom and froze. Her heart pounded within her and fear pulsed its way through her veins, forcing the air out of her body as she struggled to breathe in panic. If she could sense Dyson's pain and emptiness, the law of average said he'd sense hers, maybe even physically see it. Her hands tightened into fists as fear tightened its grip on her. Dyson, as lost and empty as he was, would not leave her be, he wouldn't forget and he'd dig and scratch and claw until he broke the surface and fixed her. He'd fix her like he couldn't fix himself; he'd make her his personal project. It was just the way he was, his basic nature, the one part the Norn hadn't taken, couldn't take. To take it would destroy him and that was not part of the deal Dyson had struck. To take it would change the tides, Dyson would no longer have been light fae but flipped sides. Kenzi didn't know how she knew all this but maybe it was Dyson's instinctual knowledge of fae law that was seeping into her. It was his compassion that made him who he was despite all he'd lost and Kenzi knew him like she'd been given the book of his life and she'd devoured it cover to cover. It was also the route of her fear. She loosed her hand and flexed the long fingers around the handle of the door. She needed to be out there, to look into her own eyes and see for herself if he'd discovered her secret. She sucked in a breath and straightened the strong shoulders and left the bathroom. The others were gathered in front of the bar, still arguing. Her eyes searched the room and finally saw herself standing separate to the rest, aloof, watchful. She lowered her eyes to her own blue ones and flinched. Dyson was watching her and Kenzi understood the look in her eyes. He knew, he'd found her secret, her scars visible to the world. She wished she could carry her scars on the inside like other people could but there was a price for everything and it looked like she'd just hit the bottom of her emotional bank account. Wrenching her gaze away she stalked further into the room and forced a smile on her grizzly face. Determined to ignore Dyson for now and maintain some level of her own personality, she cracked a joke which was for the most part ignored but did manage to incite a warning from Dyson. Kenzi gave her usual wide toothy smile which she couldn't quite pull off with Dyson's face and settled back to let the big bad fae figure out their problems.

He'd had to pee sitting down, a feat he hadn't enjoyed. He hadn't enjoyed touching parts he had no business touching. Kenzi was a little sister to him, the fragile little human he hadn't been able to help loving and seeing her bare lower body made him vastly uncomfortable. It was however, the reason he'd seen the scars, the fresh ones at least. He'd discovered the old ones on her wrists earlier but had written them off to a troubled childhood. The fresh ones however could not be so easily discounted. They were thin cuts across her inner thighs, long and neat but harsh against her pale skin. He hadn't been able to keep from touching then, had run his fingers across the cuts and winced at the sharp sting. It was then that the pain had flooded him. The bruised punishing swell of torment and guilt barreled through him like a Mack truck on steroids. He'd felt the overwhelming desire to find a knife and slice it through the creamy supple skin of his human body and with it, came the instinctual knowledge of its cause. Kenzi carried the weight of her own fragility, the guilt of her humanity and he sensed she also hadn't forgiven herself for cursing him and clearly she carried the weight of her drunken actions around with her like a wounded cub with a thorn in its paw. Compassion and concern rolled through him and he knew this was on him. He had to fix her, he had to make her right, it could only be him, he had been her victim and only he would soothe her guilt. Kenzi had never spoken about what had happened in Baba Yi Ga's realm, what the old hag had put his Kenzi through but she must have suffered in the cruel prison of the witch's plain. Looking now with fresh insight at the old hardened scars he judged with a critical eye and gathered that they were just old enough to have started right after Bo had rescued her. Dyson shut his eyes in pain for the girl who filled his heart where her best friend had once lived. He pulled the sleeves down of his shirt and tugged the grey pants up, covering the gruesome scars from his gaze. At the last moment remembering to wash his hands and left the bathroom. His eyes immediately sought his own across the way and instantly knew Kenzi had realized he would find her out. With a cringe he realized that would also mean she had discovered how lonely and empty he was. He wasn't happy about that knowledge but he wasn't concerned, knowing he had the upper hand of whose secret was worse than whose. He listened to Kenzi's joke, rolled his eyes, hid a smile and admonished her casual joke and flippant use of his strength. He saw her sit back and wait, content to let them solve their little body swap issue. Dyson smiled, when it came down to it, Kenzi trusted them, she had faith in him and Bo to get her out of it and they would. More than ready to get his own body back, he joined his friends to devise a plan.

There was no beer drinking that night. Not when Trick's kegs were spiked. For the occasion, Trick had finally relented at Kenzi's consistent prodding and opened his top shelf liquor. They were all enjoying the potent bite of his whiskey. Dyson, now thankfully back in his own skin after finding a good use for Kenzi's 'kicks', kept a watchful eye on the young human. She was laughing and joking with Hale, casting affectionate glances Trick's way every time he refilled her glass and doing a wonderful job of avoiding him. Dyson allowed her, her space, knowing he would have his say later when the celebration had settled and the Dal was once again quiet and undisturbed.

Kenzi sipped her drink, smiling over the rim of her glass at Hale who despite being stuck in limbo for half the night, was in good spirits at Reynard finally being given the boot. He'd taken the good doctor home, a cheesecake recipe richer and come back to drink with the rest of them, spiked beer notwithstanding, Every so often, her eyes flicked to Dyson who was sitting comfortably on a bar stool with an arm slung around Ciara's shoulders. His eyes were on her however and Kenzi shivered at the determined steel she saw in his gaze. She frowned to herself, she didn't want to talk to Dyson, not about her cutting and he wasn't going to drop it, she read it on his face as easily as she read the label on the bottle of whiskey Tric had long since given up on and left in front of her. They didn't stay much longer, Ciara wanting to go home and Bo just about whining to call it a night. Hale made a quick exit, having decided that the business of having no waitresses was criminal sacrilege and disappearing to go find one. Ciara went to go thank Bo once again and Dyson took his free moment to seek out Kenzi. Kenzi, who was watching Bo's awkward hug with Ciara, failed to notice him approaching until he was standing right in front of her. She jumped as he loomed over her and swallowed past a sudden lump in her throat.

"Kenz, we need to talk," his deep, soothing voice slid over her like warm butter on freshly baked bread.

"I know why you want to talk D-man but it's really none of your business and I think you should just drop it, OK? Ok," she said and slipped off the stool, ready to follow Bo. Dyson stopped her with a firm grip on her elbow. She pulled against his grip but she was no match for his strength.

"You may not want to talk Kenzi but I care about you and that makes everything about you my business so we are going to talk about it whether you want to or not," he told her gently. She frowned and avoided his eyes. He wouldn't drop it, she knew he wouldn't but she still tried, as if making a big declaration would dissuade him from following his nature.

"You're like a dog with a bone aren't you D-man?" she quipped with a small smile. The laugh escaped him against his better judgment. He wasn't in the mood to laugh at Kenzi's jokes, not when he knew they were a defense mechanism meant to distract him but sometimes, the quirky human girl got the better of his sometimes serious nature.

"Joke all you want Kenz but we are going to talk, we can do it on your terms or mine but you're not getting out of it," he informed her, his voice casually soft but laced with a hint of steel.

She sighed, a half smile on her face which said more for her disgruntled mood than a frown ever would.

"Fine, let's get it over with, have your say wolf," she muttered, reluctance evident in her voice and in her sluggish movements. He smiled and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Not now Kenz, Ciara wants to go home and it's been a long day, we'll talk when it's quiet and we won't be disturbed, I have a feeling we might be in for a long one."

"Hey buddy, you said we could do it on my terms so these are my terms, I don't want your little hero mission hanging over my head, I want it overs, now," she argued.

"Kenzi, another time," he crooked her chin and turned to find his girl. Kenzi watched him go and sighed. That hadn't worked quite the way she wanted it to.

"You ready to go, Kenz?" Bo asked as she dropped onto a stool next to her friend. Kenzi leaned on her hand and smiled her Kenzi smile, for now, despite her earlier objections, grateful to put Dyson at the back of her head.

"Like yesterday already, Bo-Bo," she said and Bo smiled as they stood up to leave.

"See you girls around," Trick called from his place behind the bar where he was drying glasses with a dishrag.

"Bye Trick."

"See ya Trickster.'

It had been almost a week since the body swap incident and by now, Kenzi had realized that Dyson was toying with her. His "talk" was hanging over her head in much the way she had warned him about. She and Bo had had their share of cases since then, some requiring the exclusive help of one handy wolf cop but Kenzi had made sure Bo went alone. She was determined to avoid Dyson as much as possible, counting on the fact that he'd be too busy to truly worry about her. So far it had worked for her but the clock was ticking on her amnesty, she was sure of it and her most pressing dilemma was swiftly becoming how to prepare for the "big talk".

Dyson leaned back against his swivel chair and took a deep breath. He was the last one in and the office was eerily silent. The spring in his chair creaked, the sound echoing through the halls, quietly hinting it was time to go home. He checked his watch, it wasn't that late but late enough to be considered a bitch on overtime. He logged off his computer and tossed his unsolved cases into his tray and grabbed his jacket and keys. As he climbed into his car, thoughts of Kenzi seeped unbidden into his mind. He glanced again at the dashboard clock and narrowed his eyes. He knew Bo was with Lauren tonight, off doing whatever girls in love did, which meant Kenzi was at home, alone. Turning the key in the ignition, he made his decision. He had put off his talk long enough.

One would think a girl with a house to herself would do something a little more exciting than curl up on the sofa with a tub of ice-cream but Kenzi was snuggled up in comfy pajamas with said tub of cookies and cream ice-cream watching reruns of old movies. Her phone was on silent but she had no intention of answering it anyway. In fact, she had no plans to see anyone until Bo came home the next day. The movie was getting slightly interesting when a resounding knock disturbed her silence. She stiffened. Bo wouldn't be knocking and there really was no one else it could be. Kenzi grabbed her sword, it was never far away from her, countless attacks at their loft had seen to that, and padded to the door on tiptoed feet. Clasping the sword in a death grip, her free hand pulled open the door, the sword nearly slipping from her fingers when she caught a glimpse of her unexpected visitor.

"Just who were you expecting, Kenz?" Dyson laughed as he invited himself inside. Kenzi stood aside, mouth agape as he strode in and dropped onto her couch with his 'devil may care' attitude.

"Bo's not here, D-man," Kenzi reminded him, even knowing he wasn't there for Bo.

"Have a seat, Kenz, you know as well as I do that I'm not here for Bo," he patted the seat beside him.

Kenzi gingerly walked up to him, trying to appear more relaxed than she was. She ignored the seat next to him, instead lowering herself into a single chair. Dyson smiled and slung his arm over the back of the sofa.

"So, wanna save some time and tell me about the cuts?" he rumbled with his deep voice.

Kenzi looked away and swallowed hard.

"Kenzi?"

She turned back to him, anguish and frustration burning ice in her pale eyes.

"They're my deal, OK? They're nobody's business but mine, You don't need to go on some crusade to save me or fix me, I'm not in trouble and I'm not broken, I've been fine and I am fine and I'll stay that way, you're no shrink Dyson, last time I checked your job description, what makes you think I need to tell you anything?" she bit out, her voice along with her words telling him everything he needed to know. She was far from fine, her subconscious crying out for help despite the protests of her mouth.

"You forget something, Kenz, I was inside you, and hold the one-liner, I'm not in the mood for jokes," he warned her upon seeing her standard 'about to make a dirty joke' face.

Kenzi shut her mouth, closing in said joke and tried to relax her hands where her nails were currently digging into her thighs through the cotton of her pajamas.

"As I was saying, I know where some of your feelings stem from, at least enough to have a basic understanding of why you do it so you can't lie to me, Kenz but I would like to hear it from you," he said, leaning forward. His face showed every bit of love he felt for her. Kenzi melted at the look, softening just an inch in her stalwart attempt at keeping him at bay. She wanted so badly to share her story, wanted more than anything for him to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything would be OK. But it wasn't, and she couldn't bare her soul to him. Some of her pain stemmed from the guilt of what she'd done that drunken night. She could not stomach the thought that Dyson would feel either pity for her or that she was justified in her guilt. Either way she wouldn't be able to handle the look. She shook her head and stood, her anxiety becoming apparent in the restless pacing she began.

"Dyson, I get that you care and I appreciate it but some things are best left alone, just let it go, I'm not killing myself and I'm not ever going to so you can go sleep tonight with a clear conscience, you've saved me," she told him, her voice shakier than she would have liked. She started for the door, hoping he'd accept her dismissal and be done with it. She should have known better. No sooner than she'd taken a step, she felt Dyson's arms grip her elbows and felt herself pulled in front of him. He released her elbows but placed his big hands on her shoulders, nearly swallowing her with his sheer size. She stared at his hands, unwilling to look at him.

"Look at me Kenzi," he commanded softly. She tensed but raised her eyes to his.

"I don't just care about you Kenzi; I love you, your strength, your jokes, your happiness and your loyalty to us and your unbridled faith in us. I know that for whatever reason, you feel like your humanity is a burden, that you're somehow weak and I cannot understand why you would think that, we would be lost without you Kenz, you're our glue, you're what keeps us all together, what makes us a family, me, Hale, Bo, even Trick, every one of us would protect you, die for you, same as you would do for us. There is absolutely no reason for you to feel like you don't belong with us, that you're a burden. I also know that you feel guilty over cursing me to Baba yi Ga, Kenzi, my darling, you more than got me out of it, you got yourself stranded in payment, don't you think that you've suffered enough? I was over that the second I realized you'd been sucked into her dimension; do you know how scared I was when we found out? I swear I would have ripped through two moons to get you back, me and Bo both, I need you to stop punishing yourself for things out of your control and completely unfounded," Dyson's voice was gruff in his desire to have her believe him. He watched her, searching her face for signs of acceptance, belief, anything to show that she had heard him. He watched her ice blue eyes pool with tears as her dark pupils dilated. He tightened his grip on her shoulders as he felt her body begin to tremble. When the trembling grew into uncontrollable shaking, he released her shoulders and pulled her against him. His arms surrounded her slim frame, holding her tight and safe in the strength of his embrace. She buried her face in his chest, breathing in his warm, clean masculine scent. Her fingers clenched into his shirt, holding on in case he let go. This was what she'd wanted, afraid to admit she'd needed and afraid to let herself have. But Dyson's speech had gotten through. How could it not? All the love he felt for her was evident in the way he'd looked at her, in the anguish of his voice as he'd desperately tried to fix her. The sheer force of his compassion was enough to make her understand. She wasn't a burden, she had always, in the back of her mind, worried that she was more pest than amusing but now, maybe she'd been wrong, maybe Dyson was telling the truth, maybe she was worthy, needed, appreciated, even loved. Tears had long since escaped the bounds of her eyes and streaked down her face in a long stream of salt and mascara. Her breaths came in short bursts as she tried to hold in her gut-wrenching sobs. She already looked like a mess; she didn't need loud guffaws destroying any more of her street cred.

"Let it out, Kenz, you need to get it out of your system once and for all," Dyson whispered against her hair. She shook her head, her fisted hands loosening and tightening around his vest.

"I'm OK," she mumbled. She felt him pull back slightly and felt bereft at the loss of the comfort. A few seconds later, she felt a harsh pinch against the bare skin of her arm. Burning pain seared through her at the biting impact of his fingers. She yelped and pushed away. The tight reign she'd had on her emotions crumpled and the tears she'd been holding back erupted and her body resumed its shaking as it heaved for air. He folded her back into his arms and held her as she sobbed. All the pain and suffering and punishment she had put herself through in the last months came spiraling out of her as she cried into his chest. All the fear and anger and hate she had felt, the desire to cut herself and inflict the pain she couldn't deal with in any other way, all of it washed out of her, riding the waves of her emotional ocean. Finally, her shaking stopped, her tears rolled to a stop and the tension in her body vanished. She relaxed against him and for the first time in a long time, felt normal, like her old self, her real self without the effort of being so. For months she had to pretend to be herself, to be the Kenzi everyone knew but all the while it been just that, a pretense, fake and now she felt free, being herself was once again as it should be, completely effortless. She pulled back in his embrace and chanced a look in his direction. He was watching her, love as absolute and encompassing as the sun burned in his gaze and for the first time since she'd started cutting, Kenzi let herself smile, a true smile that bloomed into a happy carefree laugh. She hugged Dyson once more, a quick, sharp, exuberant bear hug and then pushed out of his arms. She knew tomorrow, she'd feel awkward and self-conscious around him but for now, she could think of nothing better to say than a simple, "Thank you Dyson, I'd be lost without you."

To which Dyson just as simply replied, "And you'll always have me, Kenz, always."


End file.
